Category: Humorous

“Bliss”-ful Quotes

Naomi Wildman: [To Seven of Nine] “Can’t we make first contact? Or get into a space battle?!”

Tom Paris: “Yeah? Can’t we?”

Chakotay: “It’s perfectly natural for you to resist the unknown. But you’re in good hands! Resistance is futile.”




A Quote

Q: “Oh, I see, this is one of those silly human rituals. You’re playing hard to get.”

Janeway: “As far as you’re concerned, Q, I’m impossible to get.”

~The Q and the Grey

Dr. Zimmerman hologram: “You filled your memory with nonsense.”

Doctor: “It was only during my off hours.”

Dr. Zimmerman hologram: “You’re supposed to be off during your off hours.”

~The Swarm

The Doctor: “He’s a sick man. This is where sick people come.”

[The patient dies.]

The Doctor: “He’s a very sick man.”

~The Swarm

The Doctor: “What am I supposed to do? Lead a revolt with a gang from Sandrine’s? Conjure up holograms of Nathan Hale and Che Guevara? I’m a doctor, not a counterinsurgent…maybe I could access a tactical database, teach myself guerrilla warfare.”

~Basics, Part II

Janeway: “One thing you’ve never been is a liar.”

Q: “I think you’ve uncovered my one redeeming virtue! Am I blushing?”

~Death Wish

A Quote

Doctor: “All of us have violent instincts. We have evolved from predators … Well, not me, of course. I’ve just been programmed by you predators.”


The Doctor: “I’m a doctor, Mr. Neelix, not a decorator.”


The Doctor: “How many times do I have to tell you madam? I’m a Doctor, not a bartender.”


The Doctor: “I’m a doctor, not a voyeur.”


The Doctor: “I shouldn’t have to remind you: I’m a doctor…”

B’ Elanna Torres: “…not an engineer. Right.”


The Doctor: “I’m a doctor, not a performer.”


The Doctor: “I’m a doctor, not a counterinsurgent.”

~Basics, Part II

The Doctor: “I’m a doctor, not a database.”

~Future’s End, Part II

The Doctor: “I am a doctor, not a peeping Tom, there’s nothing I haven’t seen before.”


The Doctor: “I’m a doctor, not a battery.”


The Doctor: “I’m a doctor, not a dragon-slayer.”


The Doctor: “I’m a doctor, not a zoo-keeper.”

~Life Line

The Doctor: “I’m a doctor, not an engineer.”

~Flesh and Blood

A Quote

Tom Paris: “When a bomb starts talking about itself in the third person, I get worried.”


B’Elanna Torres: “Get the cheese to sickbay – the Doctor should look at it as soon as possible!”

~Learning Curve